standing here..full of the memories..scare to meet you again..scare to talk to you again..heard from friends..your life are wonderful now..full of happiness..really..really happy to heard that..the day u went away..i told myself i wanna be brave..although its tough...that day..i meet you again..you and me..although saw each other..but we never say 'hi'..thou smile to each other..from that time..i really finaly knew..you and me..are far from each other..you had told me before..you will come back to me..but now..i just can standing here alone..i just can cry for the memories..

do you know..someone is cry for you now?

曾经听过这么一首歌：其实你不懂我的心.....我想....很多人都会觉得自己不被理解...不被体谅...就像妈妈埋怨丈夫孩子不懂得体谅做家务的辛苦....女友埋怨男友不解温柔...不懂女生爱浪漫一样....生活中总有着许多人大声说着:你一点都不懂我....!!  偶尔会在想...如果你真得很懂那个人...两个人是不是就可以和平的相处了呢??对有些人来说...那答案或许会是吧..可是我却觉得...如果两个人在一起不需要太刻意的去了解对方...这样会让大家都觉得这段感情很沉重...很累...给彼此适当的空间或许会更好吧...有时候...或许他真的不懂你的心...但他会是珍惜那颗心的人...

听说...在爱情里...理智这东西是不存在的...当你能用理智去判断你的爱情时.....那你或许就得不到真正的爱情了....没有了理智....人们往往就不能辨别事实...如果幸运...或许就会遇到了自己命中注定的人...反之就会伤痕累累....没有理智...或许真的能让一个人爱得没有负担....没有拘束...或许有人认为只有这样才真的能得到真爱..是与否...??我想....也只能让当事人自己去判断...有时候当你真正投入在你的感情时....才发现原来你的感情里不只有两个人.....而是多了一个人....那到底是谁的错...??我想....当一段感情出现了第三者....或许不是第三者的错...或许这段感情早已经出现了问题...只是第三者让问题浮出了水面.....在感情当中的两个人都需要负起责任....最后有些人会选择原谅出轨的那位.....原谅挤进两人感情的那位第三者.....无论怎样....大家都会受到伤害....都会遍体鳞伤....之前...在一篇小品上看到了一种说法....如果我们真爱对方...我们总会知道...如果你真的深爱对方....那种情绪是会出现的....你不需要去营造....不需要催促....那样的情绪....那样的爱一个人的情绪....总会出现...而你一定会知道的....或许爱情真的是如此....但我却害怕.....我只想选择只爱一点点.....只爱陌生人....

近来看到一位老朋友所写的心情小品....那是写着他的生活....他的故事....里头的文字让我发现到原来人都是带着面具的...而人则需要在不同的场合中戴着不同的面具.....我也是如此....因为健康的问题...生活总是需要面对一些的突发状况....身边周遭的朋友家人都可能必须跟我一起面对....其实每次我都很害怕....很痛苦...可是看到大家担心的样子....我却总会故作坚强说没事....除了这样...我真的再也想不到其他的办法让自己不会因为是大家的包袱而感到内疚....希望能减轻对大家所造成的负担....在那个时候...我就不自觉地戴上了面具...从小就被逼独立...或许就因为这样....很多心事都不会轻易地说出口...在家人面前...是个不需要担心的孩子...在朋友面前...是个不会轻易放声大哭的朋友....伪装..的确是件累人的事....不知道我几时才可以摘下面具.....痛痛快快的大哭一场.......今天跟一位老朋友聊天....谈到了很多.....谈话中知道朋友真的在担心我....可是我却无法卸下面具不再伪装自己的情感....还是选择用玩笑来掩饰自己难过......不过我真得很感谢那位朋友....朋友....谢谢....虽然发现跟他出了问题.....可是我选择用沉默来掩饰伤心....我想...我或许永远东没办法卸下面具...卸下心中的包袱...坦荡荡的生活...虽然我知道伪装是多么的累人.....

我爱夜..更爱那皓月高挂的夜...这样的夜总会让人有一种莫名的感觉....让回忆就好像老歌....轻易就哼起....那回忆空空荡荡的...一个人坐在橱窗前....心里浮现着许多画面.....曾经..关上了自己的心门....捂住了耳朵...闭上了眼睛....让自己失去了感觉....我不想呼吸....就只靠着墙壁....只让那昔日的爱情淹没了自己......冷冷的夜里只靠回忆来暖和自己....

经过半个世纪....心怎么还在原地...?就像那首歌唱起来还有最初心情....不知现在的你心里是否还会浮起那旧的旋律...?如果想忘记你....会在哪个世纪?想把此刻的心情告诉你...但我知道...我们回不去...这回忆....依稀属于那沉淀后的空气...

每个人生命中有太多不断错身而过的爱恋....但...总会有一段你难以抹灭的隽永悸动...就好像..分离后一次屋檐下的偶遇...或是..在百货商店逛街时的巧遇...在重逢仅是左肩靠着右肩...两人心中却翻腾着无数回忆....或许大家还会想着当时的种种...如果时间能停在这一秒我们从来好不好??回忆....触动了她的心....但是现在的她明瞭...只是一个躲雨的过客....因此..她对他虽然充满依恋...只是都不敢开口....因为那只是....她对他永远的....存爱.....

当时离去...我在你转身后说了最终一句....." 爱你...永远在恨之上...."  你走下阶梯一步一踏....十七阶的分离声响....在我心底怔忡.......回忆.....漾起昨日画面....我想.....这是你我之间仅存的美好.....努力拼凑出微笑....你只觉得陌生....读不出我眼底的依恋.....自你脸上滑落的泪水.....似陨落深恋的灰烬.......我没敢开口.....只因你恋上另一个人....我们一再错身....而今分隔你我仅剩空气.....你问我..: " 后来的你好吗? " 我静默...  抿抿嘴..像是浅浅的微笑..." 我..应该很好..."你再次离去的声响......一步一阶的.....成了.....仓促分离的.....句点...

渐渐觉得...你不再是以前的你....不再是那个体贴的人...不再是那个温柔的人...觉得你是如此的陌生...我真的搞不懂...我们是怎么了...?

以前的你总让我觉得很窝心..让我觉得很舒服..感觉就像我的避风港一样...可是这些都渐渐成了我的回忆了..你问我为什么都不告诉你这些话...我不是不要说....只是觉得你听了会有压力...我不像你这样...或许..真的像你说的那样...我们都长大了...不再是以前那样幼稚了....可是为什么...你的脚步那么的快?我快跟不上你了...该怎么办..?难道长大了就不能像以前那样吗？你说你的转变是一件好事。。但愿如此。。或许只是我还停留在那个时候。。不愿接受事实。。可是。。我真的不想大家都变了。。。你那时所说的话。。依然非常清晰地在我的脑海里。。那些美好的画面。。我想。。永远活在那里。。你说我想太多。。可是我只是想要回。。那种曾经让我着迷的感觉。。谢谢你曾经那样的爱过我。。我会努力的找回那种感觉。。因为我不想到后来才发现。。。原来你加我等于什么都没有。。

i know i am useless..but i just only want the people around me happy..i don't want them sad..i just hope i can help them even my help is meaningless for them..but i just hope they will feel much better when they sad i can stay beside them..i know i can't help anything..but in this case..i just hope you can in my shoes and understand me..i know you will think me as a fool person..thou i know they were using me i still help them..i know you are worry about this..worry about me that i wiil cheat and hurt by people..i feel sad when you say those words to me..i really sad..anyway..i won't angry about that..i know you just care about me..you want me to change..i really got work hard to get it..but i am not same as u all..i am not strong or smart enough as you all..i just want apreciate what and who with me now..because everytimes i can awake from that pain that just like a chance that is gave by the god..i just want apreciate that..i am not hoping that u will support me to do this or what..i just want you understand me.. 

somebody can rescue me from the pain?can someone pull me up from the pain?i'm so suffer..the pain that can't share with anyone..can't tell anyone..that's realy make me suffer..when the pain is come..nothing can stop it..even though myself..why i have to face all that?did i do any wrong before that?so i have to face all that now..who can help me?this questions always ask in my mind..even though i knew the answer from the start..but sometimes i also hope that one day some one will tell me the answer..this pain make everyone worry for me..i really feel so sorry for all of them..so i just can always pretend that i'm very fine and happy in front of them..i think this is the best way to let them no need worry of me..with this pain..i have to take precautions for that anytime..this really make me very tired and stress..i really want to give up sometimes..but when i think about the people that love me..i will tell myself that i have to be strong..i have to hide the tears and fears..for the people who i love..don't worry..i will be strong for you all..

when i'm alone with the stars..you are the one who i think about..the blue night is over my face..on the dark side of the world in space..i'm so lonely here..do you know?i'm scare for the dark after the day you leave..may be you will asking tat i really love you so..bu i jz wanna tell you that you are the one who i have ever been love before..i think my heart is sealed for you..no one can take it away..cos you already live in my heart..may be i m not the one who are best for you..but i realy work hard for you..i jz hope i can follow your steps where you go..now u already far from me..sometimes i think tat your voice is calling me in my dreams..thou i know that is imposible..but i just can say that to myself when i was missing u...